self-portrait

Rebirth

Has it ever happened to you? To feel that your life is a like a movie-script? The bad kind of a movie? With a shallow dialogue about the choice of the tomato, the monotony of the routined waking-up-before-the-alarm-clock, the “plan” for the day step by step down to the toilet-breaks, the surrender under the exhaustion of the unprecedented and so annoying hole in the sock, or the social pressure (from Facebook, for example) to wish “happy birthday” to someone whose friend request you accepted out of courtesy or to someone who is so dear to you that wishing “happy birthday” on Facebook will be taken as an insult. While this bad script goes through the mind, one observes passively the *things* in Japan – the things we see on TV and read about are just like … well, things that we read about and watch on the TV – distant, unrelatable, realistically fictitious (and fictitiously realistic?). Life becomes mere existence – just like the pen continues to write if there is ink and gravity, just like the glass lets all light through as long as it is not shattered, just like one can’t walk without standing up – life goes on until the muscles in the heart exhaust the last smidgeon of their DNA inspiration.

But this isn’t how the movie ends.

It is about that time of the day when you’ll surprise yourself and would break the rhythm. You’ll listen to new music, you’ll take that left turn that you always avoided, you’ll take off all burdon and leave it behind, you’ll sit and stare at those things you always took for granted, you’ll say “thank you” to everyone – one by one – in your mind (not to them – they don’t have to know it), you’ll merge with your primal instincts, you’ll remember where that DNA inspiration was hiding (hint: it’s all around us), you’ll absorb the sun through your skin better than the lizard can, you’ll protect what needs protection and you’ll succumb to what offers temptation.

Today, I listened to a bird. Today, I ran (away). Today, I took off my clothes. Today, I looked up from the edge. Today, I bathed in a mountain spring. Today, I merged with it. Today, I thanked the sun (for warming me up afterwards). Today, I felt my DNA. Today, I was reborn.